A Dallas sportswriter had paid some nerdy mathematician to calculate how low my average for the rest of the season could go before I'd drop below .400. The guy estimated the number of at bats I'd get over the remaining 17 games of the schedule, and concluded that I could hit a little under .300 the rest of the way and still make it over the .400 hump.That was comforting, but I wondered what I'd have to hit to reach my true goal of .407 -- one point better than The Splendid Splinter, Ted Williams.When we headed back to Baltimore, I had hit safely in 50 consecutive games. I was the first guy, other than Joe DiMaggio, to have ever reached that 50-game plateau.It had been a rewarding road trip. Sandy had been with me for the whole week, and (unlike earlier road trips) she had been entirely happy about being there. Besides, we were lovers now, so it was far more than just moral support she was providing.Tampa Bay was at Camden Yards for three games and I got one hit in each of the games,. To add to their disgrace,the studs made Red and Lips lick clean each other's asses, insistingthat they do a thorough job, outside and in. The sissies had on cheaplipstick, which smeared badly, leaving them looking like back-alleywhores.Hours later, the wives returned, buzzed and happy. They hugged andkissed the men but were surprised when they didn't expect sex."What's the matter, Tank? Too tired?" Is that it, Lou? Or did you have our sissy husbands sucking on youwhile you were waiting for us, and you lost control... again?" No, baby. We wanted something tighter than their mouths," Tankexplained."Yeah," said Lou. "So we played around with them, reddened their asscheeks, and then plugged their butts. They've been properly poked andnow they're officially homo-boy, sissy-bottom, cum-bags."The women were silent for a few seconds and then broke up laughing."Damn, Tank, I'm just sorry I wasn't here to see that." Really, Lou. I could have taken pictures and sent them all over.
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